HIS Resolutions

So here’s the list of Rolland’s resolutions for the new year (as made up by me!)

– get enough sleep
– buy at least one DVD each month
– don’t get up before 8a.m. more than once a week
– eat a lot of bananas and try to remember to kiss me before eating it
– buy at least two computer games that will never get played
– stay firm in refusing to learn where each kitchen utensil belongs
– shower at least 30 min. a day
– repair broken lightbulbs faster (within 3 months maybe instead of a year?)
– claim guarantee on the broken lamp from last year until February!
– remember to load the batteries of the camera at least three times in 2005 so we can actually take pictures
– don’t miss any webcomics or daily feeds
– refuse to wear anything that is not black or wasn’t black at some point at least
– kill at least one rpg character (yeah sure!)
– avoid hairy nightmares
– avert a visit to the barber
– buy at least one LotR DVD (whatever?)
– watch porn at least once a month (said he)
– refuse bluetooth presents (the hardest one of all)
– don’t forget to buy roses on Valentine’s Day
– read at least 12 issues of Gamestar magazine in 2005
– further decrease shaving frequency to every two months
– actually the only resolution truly his is to not make any resolutions (Despite the last being a quote from two hours ago, he protests: “Hey I contributed that porn watching resolution!”)

By Yashima

Writer of code and stories