The Way is the Thought

I am taking my bike to get to work 99% of the time. The only time I’d leave it at home would be if it was snowing or if there was fresh snow on the streets. That rarely happens here and then I would walk and enjoy the snow. I don’t care wether there is wind or rain, wether it is cold or even dark outside when I leave the house, I just love biking to work. In the beginning I tried to get to work as fast as I could. Now I am always going rather slow because it’s the best time of the day. My thoughts are fresh from just having woken up. Nothing and no one could have disturbed me. I am at rest and I can think. That’s what I do and that’s what I am trying to write down now.

Writing – and currently mostly this blog – is me. I need it. I always have something to write. A blog or a diary, sometimes poems and sometimes rpg campaigns. I am not a professinal writer by any means – though I often wish I was – but writing is very important for my personal well-being. My job is fun but I cannot imagine doing it for the next 40, 30 or even 20 years, it is just not as fulfilling as I believe that, which you do for at least one third of your time each day, should be.

Writing is different. It means a lot to me to express myself in writing, to make my thoughts clear – to myself mostly. To write them down I need to think things through.

The other day someone asked me how I wrote. It’s just always there. Since I am writing in English a lot of my thoughts are in English too, because more often than not I am thinking stuff that I want to write down. More often than not, I don’t write them down in the end. But each morning as I go to work English sentences are going around in my head, how I could write stuff down, ideas.

Writing is a bit like being a photographer. When I have a camera with me I always view the world around me as a possible photograph, everything is evaluated for the purposes of the next picture to be taken. Essentially it is the same with writing, everything I see is constantly being evaluated: The weather, the people around me, the discussions I have with other, the way I experience anything. Sometimes it goes so far I think of myself in third-person because that is my favorite writing perspective. The thoughts, the quiet thinking on my way to work relaxes me and when I am that relaxed I can just sit down and start writing about my ideas and once there are the first few sentences down, the flow rarely stops quickly.

What I cannot do – yet. is focussing my thoughts on specific topics or stories to create. I always write about very personal things that just came to my mind (with the exception of my UA campaign next door), that is the reason why I am not becoming a professinal any time soon. And never mind the tons of rather irrelevant postings I write here because I would love to write at that moment and I feel the semblance of the necessary peaceful state inside me but I am not quite there. What is not necessary for me to write is happiness or rather contentedness, I write a lot more when I am unhappy.