Another kind of freedom

Over at Revland I saw this nice Dispatch From Revland: Free At Last.

When I went to Kindergarten I was longing to go to school, not knowing I would have a lot of homework to do and less freedom. In 4th grade I was hoping the school year would be over so the exams wether I would pass to Gymnasium would be over and I would be free again. In Gymnasium I was hoping to finally graduate because I was imagining that I’d have more freedom at university.

Finally when I got to university I was trying to finish the first half of my studies (similar but not exactly the bachelor) because I was thinking that in the second half there would be more freedom. Finally I couldn’t wait to get done with my thesis because I believed once I would start working there would be more freedom. That last thought is hard to explain, but I was thinking that the order and the regularity of work-live would bring me some kind of freedom and free me from those ‘goals I must reach’.

After I finished my thesis I didn’t find a job. This was the worst time of my life because there was a goal to reach and whatever I did, I didn’t get any closer to that goal. Finally after 3 months of looking I found a job and I was sooooo happy (especially since just shortly before despite my desperation I had rejected a job offer) … and now I have been working for 10 months and I am starting to learn that work isn’t giving me the freedom either. Now instead of exams I have projects.

So now that I know that I won’t be free until I ‘free my mind’, I am working on becoming more relaxed and all .

But at least now I have vacation. And usually during vacation I don’t know what to do and spend all my time playing computer games or programming my website. And after work at home I usually do not think too much about work either, so that’s a kind of freedom.

And there will always be breaks, times where I am free from the obligation of the next goal to reach. Those breaks are rare but usually very happy times.